Welcome to the Lovesongs 247 podcast 'The Dating Show!'
This month on the 'dating show' the team look into personal security when dating and all gets awkward with a body language expert.
Click on the Lovesongs247 record to play
The Dating Show brought to you by OlderDatingOnline.com (Transcript)
R: In this edition of the Dating Show we look at your security when internet dating and we find out about an internet radio station called Lovesongs247.com which many daters are tuning in to while they are looking for a partner.
E: And Pierre our resident dating expert looks at body language.
R: Just out of interest, where did we get Pierre from? Have you met him?
E: I haven't met him but there is somebody sitting on the sofa and to be honest...if that is Pierre, I think there has been some terrible mistake. He's a body language expert? He gives you no eye contact at all!
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R: He's a little bit odd.
E: ...I have to say..
R: One eye was looking at me and the other was looking for me
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R: Ok. Now your security when doing anything these days is vital and so it is the case when internet dating. How safe really are you? We decided to look into this and have a chat with Emma, who works in the customer care team at OlderDatingOnline.com
E: Every photo profile or message, diary entry, icebreaker that is loaded onto the system by a member will actually be submitted to the moderation team and the moderator will then be required to have a look at the submission in order to make sure that the content is suitable for the website but most importantly to ensure that that member is genuine.
So, there are lots of things that we take into consideration when looking for scammer on a OlderDatingOnline.com. These are things like checking the sign up information. So, checking that that matches with the location and address that has been provided with registration. To check that they are where they say they are. There are also some scammers who try to pretend that they are different ages, so depending on the site, you can tell if they are likely to be suitable for OlderDatingOnline.com.
We do a lot of checks on personal details, your location, income, marital status, ethnicity and religion of the member. All of these can indicate a scammer.....and then any profile changes which are uploaded are moderated. We can pick out certain words in the text, such as god-fearing, soul mate, honest, caring. These tend to indicate that it could be a scammer. The scammers will often just use a long list of adjectives to describe things. Then dating profile photo's. We can check to see if they appear anywhere else on the internet. Good looking and professional looking photos which tend to make the person look too good to be true, generally will belong to a scammer.
And finally, private messages of dating website scammers will be impersonal and brief and may use terms such as `hello dear` or `hello beauty` and they are often trying to get daters to give up their privacy measures to try and take the conversation away from the site and therefore away from our moderation. So, we're looking out for those things.
We also have a system by which dating members can report other members that they may come across on the website. So, if a member is concerned about a certain members behaviour, they can let us know by clicking a button and we can check that person out within 20 minutes of receiving the report.
R: It sounds like there is quite a lot there. When you are on these sites, how much information should you give out to people you are chatting too? Should you give out your mobile number or your personal email address? So, that ahead of the date, if you have arranged a date, or should you not?
E:I would advise not giving out any personal information until you have conversed with that other member looking for love for a reasonable amount of time and you trust that they seem to be genuine. If the conversation flows well and it is a two-way conversation, where you are both asking and answering questions, then the person is likely to be genuinely looking for love. So, then it's fine to give out your email address and mobile number and take it from there but, I would advise against giving out your address until you have at least met the person. By all means, once you've been chatting to someone for a little while, talking on the phone is a fairly good gauge of whether they are who they say they are.
R: and when you actually have found somebody and have arranged a date, is it a good idea to maybe arrange to meet at a neutral place and tell people where you are going, just as an added level of security?
E: Yes, definitely I would say, always meet somebody in a public place for a first date. A coffee bar or something like that and let a friend know where you are going. So, keep yourself safe. I don't think meeting in a private home is a very good idea.
R: And, there has been in the last months or so, been media reports about some internet dating sites, some companies, sending out false messages, winks and that. What would you say to those to those reports?
E: There have been some reports in the media that some dating websites do this but all of our websites are user generated.
R: That was Emma from OlderDatingOnline.com.
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E: That's the sound of Lovesongs247.com, which is an internet radio station which is dedicated to dating. So the idea is that when people are on the dating site, they can listen to some music while they look for their partner. Rod caught up with presenter Mick Brown to find out more.
M: Lovesongs247.com is a rather unique radio station because it really does play Love Songs 24 hours a day. Lovesongs are not always slow and smoochy. They can be upbeat.
We like to mix things around. Bare in mind that the audience is listening at different times of day. So, say if you are listening in England you could be listening at 11 o'clock on a Saturday night but someone in Australia is listening next morning. So, the songs have got to be just right for any kind of day.
We know there is always a wonderful link between romance and songs. Songs always have that great thing in that over the years, you can always remember certain things that you were doing. People you were going out with someone.
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R: So we are now joined in the studio by Pierre, our resident....
P: Bonjour
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R:...err... body language expert
P: How are you?
R: Nice to meet you Pierre, thank you for coming on the programme. Can I just start by saying body language is a very interesting sort of topic. How did you first get involved in all that?
P: I know. I like being close to people. I like being especially the ladies. I like to learn about them by being up close to them, you know?
R: Yes. I mean I was going to ask you as well. What is the right distance? If you are on a first date? What is the right distance?
P: As close as possible of course!
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R: I realise that because at the moment you are sitting on my lap!
P: ….very comfortable....
R: I find that a bit intimidating but …..
P: Only because you are not like a Frenchmen. You are not in touch with your feminine side. If you are comfortable, you will feel comfortable with me sitting here.
R: Right.
P: ….warming you up....
R: Right.....What about other things like, if you are talking to a woman. If she is playing with her hair, is that a good sign?
P: I like a woman to play, yes. Especially with the hair, with the feet, with the hands. Anything to play with a woman. Very nice.
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E: Pierre can you raise your eyes a little when you are speaking to me.
P: I can not. They are fixed. I am not very tall. What can I say.
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R: Do you have ANY tips Pierre?
P: Well yes of course. But, not in front of the ladies.
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R: Thank you very much Pierre. We'll hopefully, we might get you back next month and get a few more of your gems of.....um
E: I'd just like to ask Pierre how successful he is? I mean how successful are you in actually getting love.
P: Oh. I've had several wives. Even one of my own.
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R: Now we've got a bit of a competition where you could win a years membership to Older Dating Online.com. The best thing for you to do is to go to the Lovesongs247.com website. You'll see the competition there. Enter it. It's free and you could win a years membership to OlderDatingOnline.com.
Next time on The Dating Show we find out about profiles and the importance of photos and we hear from a couple who found love online.
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