You've bitten the bullet and you've signed up for an online dating site in your quest for love. The first thing you need to do is create your profile. It has to be right - you want to attract the right people. What do you write? Is there anything you really should'nt say?
We thought the best way to find out was to ask someone from Older Dating Online about how to set up the perfect profile. Rod from the Dating Show podcast had a chat with Em from Older Dating Online. She told him what to do and what not to do when you're creating a profile for an online dating site in your search for love.
To listen to their chat, you can click here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTMy52T3sHY
Or if you fancy reading it through, you can read on below.
E: It's very important to have a good profile on the website because this is your chance to show yourself off to other members before you first speak to them. So, your profile is the first thing people are going to be looking at before they decide to message you. So, if your profile doesn't show you in a positive light, people are more likely to just pass you by.
R: So what sort of things make a good online dating profile?
E:. I think it is important to keep it simple, as people won't be bothered to read a really long detailed paragraph. You don't want to give too much away. The idea is to leave them wanting more and intrigue someone enough to make them want to message you and find out more. All you need to do really is write a little about yourself. So, are you single, divorced, widowed? What do you do for a living? What do you like to do in your spare time? It's also good to let others know what it is you are looking for on the dating website. So, identify whether you want to meet people in a particular age range or with certain habits, like non-smoking for example. And, I would say, a touch of humour in the profile and the photos are always good and go a long way.
R: Ok. And the photo? That's got to be important as well because if you're looking around and you can't see the person then that's going to put people at a disadvantage isn't it?
E: Yes, definitely. I think a photo on your profile is equally, if not more important than writing something about yourself. So, people are a lot less likely to chat to someone with online dating if they can't see what they look like. So, the photos probably the first thing people are going to look at when looking for a date online and people tend to know instinctively if they find that person attractive from their photos. So, yes, it is very important, yes.
R: And how honest should you be with both, because in a way you are trying to sell yourself to try and attract people but should you be totally honest with the photos?
E: I think you should always be very honest with both of them because the truth will come out in the end. Starting an online relationship where you haven't been totally honest with each other won't go very well for a long-term relationship. By all means use a photograph of yourself where you are looking at absolutely at your best but there is a difference between using this and a photograph of a model.
R: Now, you work in the customer care team at Older Dating Online. What are the stats on all this? If somebody has got a photo and a profile, how much more likely are they to meet somebody and have a date?
E: Your chances of meeting someone online are 100 times better if you've written something about yourself and have a few good photos. This is definitely true of members who send in their success stories to the office.
This excerpt is from October's Dating Show. To listen to that podcast in full, you can click here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KskpXp9k5k
To listen to the latest Dating Show podcast, click here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSpDDFj7xjA
You can't help but sometimes be sceptical when people talk to you about dating sites. Do they actually work? Sure, you may meet people, but can you form long lasting relationships from them?
We thought we'd have a chat with someone who successfully found online after using an internet dating site. Jilly Hudson met with Eliza from the Dating Show in London to have a chat. Jilly says she's now with the man of her dreams. She had some very exciting news to share with us.
You can hear her chat with Eliza here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar2CmkIlWMc
Or, if you feel like reading it written down, you can carry on below.
J: We've decided we're to move in together!
E: That's amazing!
J: Yes. It's all, you know, selling the flat, finding a house and yes? Building our life together really.??
E: So, this is after how long?
J: We met in October last year. We were talking to each other for?around about a month before we met up and it's really gone from there. I just instantly knew that he was the one.
E: Where did you go for your first date?
J: Our first date was actually one of the coldest dates ever at Kew? Gardens (south west London, UK) and we just spent the whole time?walking and getting to know each other because until then, all our? Communication had been by email
E: Why did you choose a place like Kew Gardens? Often people go and have? A meal or they go for a drink, why did you choose to go to Kew Gardens?
J: I didn't choose it. He did. So, it was his choice about spending the?day there but they've got like a little cafe and stuff there, so we?could have some lunch but also it's quite mutual territory where we?could just like walk and chat and just get to know each other.
E: So it's sort of took the pressure off in the sense that you didn't? find yourself facing somebody that you couldn't talk to? You had?something that you could talk about as you walked around on your date?
J: Exactly.....look around at what was going on there.
E: I know that it wasn't always easy to find somebody when you were?online dating? It took time and you had to keep looking, and there were?times when it was quite disappointing? How was that period for you?
J: It was quite challenging because as somebody who is naturally quite? Shy, taking the knocks can actually be quite tough but you've got to? Actually be resilient and not take it too personally.
E: Now tell me, how did it actually feel when you knew that the chap?that you had met, when you got to Kew Gardens and you kinda knew that? This guy was the one? How did that feel that you had found him?
J: It was lovely. We had been talking to each other? For so long it was just finally meeting him was absolutely fantastic.? What was nice was that it just felt so natural and we just didn't stop? Talking all day.
This is from October's Dating Show podcast. To listen to the whole podcast, click here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KskpXp9k5k
To listen to the latest Dating Show, you can click here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSpDDFj7xjA
Have you ever felt nervous when you're meeting someone for the first time? Rod from the Dating Show was summoned to Spain to go and meet the man behind Older Dating Online. He'd only ever chatted via emails, texts and phone calls before and had the vision of Dave as a Bond villain, like Scaramanga.
It was a bit like going on your first date after meeting someone through online dating although it clearly wasn't a date! Anyway, it turned out that Dave isn't scary at all, and he's a nice guy. If you're interested in what he has to say about being the man who helps thousands of people find love online, you can listen to his chat with Rod here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r20F2CSyLs
Or if you fancy having a read of the conversation instead, carry on reading below.
R: You're obviously in charge of all these dating sites. Just look back and just tell me how you first got into Internet dating and where you are today really.?
D: It was nine years ago. I was single in my 50s. I joined some online dating sites and I decided it wasn't really for me. I was looking at 18 year olds to 99 year olds. I thought it was time there was a dating site just for people of my own age group. I wanted to meet people of my own age from maybe 50 upwards. ?
R: And now you've got sites all across the world?
D: We started in the UK, but we've now got sites all across the world. All my sites are looking for English speaking people, so we're looking at expats in various countries. We're focused on the UK, Republic of Ireland, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, the United States and Canada. ?
R: Are they as popular in each of those countries? Or is one country more Internet dating friendly than another? ??
D: No, it's very popular now everywhere. To start with it was more the UK, and people were very unsure about looking for love using Internet dating to start off with, but it's just become the norm for meeting people in all countries. ??
R: 5, 10 years ago, it was sort of frowned upon in a way, wasn't it? But now, it's the norm. ??
D: I think some people frowned upon it, or they were very nervous about admitting they were using Internet dating sites, but now it's the norm. Most people nowadays meet online. They realise that they can meet the person of their dreams online. There's far more chance of meeting your perfect partner online than the chance of meeting them at a party, at a pub or through work, which is where people used to meet before. ??
R: I've had a look at some of your statistics and you've had a lot of success stories. ??
D: There are many success stories. Everyday we get people e-mailing us saying they want to cancel their membership because they've met the partner of their dreams on one of my sites. ??
R: You've got other things going on to sort of keep people involved and keep them interested. You've got a radio station and you've got a podcast. Tell us why you're doing those things. ??
D: We want to be different, we don't want to offer the same as they can find. So we started a radio stations Lovesongs247.com for people to use when they're using the sites and also which they can listen to at all times. Also we have a podcast offering help and advice to those who are using online dating sites. ??
R: And the podcast itself, that sort of gives a bit of advice and tips. I mean I'm going to endorse that one because I present it! Are you happy with what I'm doing???
D: Very happy! Very happy indeed.??
R: I looked a bit more nervous then! So, what other things do you think you might do in the future? Have you got any ideas???
D: We've got lots of plans for 2014, but you'll have to wait and see...
If you want to listen to the full podcast, click here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSpDDFj7xjA
We all know that dating can be a scary experience if you’re shy or lacking confidence. Getting rejections can be hard, and sometimes you wonder why you’re putting yourself through this. Approaching someone in a bar isn’t for everyone. The possibility of a knock back in public when looking for love is always scary.
At the Dating Show, we thought we’d try and get in touch with someone who’s been in the same situation. Jilly Hudson admits she’s shy, so she turned to online dating to find love, which was a pretty good move as she’s found love online.
We asked her to share her experiences with us on the podcast, and she was more than happy to do so.
You can listen to her here.
Click here to listen.
Or if you fancy reading what she has to say, you can read it below.
It was quite challenging because as somebody who’s naturally quite shy, taking the knocks while looking for love can actually be quite tough. But, you've got to be resilient and try not to take it too personally.
If you're going to do internet dating, you’ve got to bear in mind that it's very much like shopping. People are shopping for partners. There are people looking for different things and you've got to accept that some people that you meet aren't going to be interested in you and some people are going to have different motives. As long as you've always got that in your head and just not build it up into too much, then it's fine.
Online dating is a great way to meet people.
However, in terms of quantity of people that you wouldn't necessarily meet in your day-to-day life, particularly if you have a job that's quite routine and you have a limited circle of people that you deal with on a day-to-day basis, it's a good way to introduce new people into your life.
But in doing that, it does involve getting to know strangers and they're going to have different values from you. They're not always going to be totally straightforward, so you've got to be aware of that and have strategies in place to make sure that you sort people out into who are people that you actually want to get to know more.
You could probably get hurt quite easily otherwise.
If you want to listen to the full Dating Show podcast for tips on finding love online, you can listen to it here.
Click here to listen
